Happier
Purchase 59 Seconds: Think a little, change a lot
Happier
I have a slim volume on my bookcase called “Uncommon Psychiatric Syndromes” by M David Enoch and W.H Trethowan. I haven’t read it, at least not properly, and its main function is not to be read, it is to make me look intelligent should anyone be browsing through my book collection. This is the kind of appeal that learned academic, peer-reviewed literature makes: we equate it with dull, impenetrable, rambling discourses that no-one would read unless they absolutely had to. On the other hand book shops around the world are packed with self-help material and the total worth of the “industry” is up in the billions of dollars. It seems that we can’t get enough of self-help but we have been drawn more to the output of charismatic figures offering sensational solutions than to the more sober output of academics.
Against this backdrop, the “Positive Psychology” movement was founded in 1998 to conduct serious study into the area of happiness and general quality of life. This was recognition that whilst popular self-help authors were highly successful at getting their message across, the quality of that message was often suspect. Positive Psychology seeks to generate new, genuine, research based material on the same kinds of topics (such as happiness, self-esteem and so on) and to present them in an accessible manner. Ben-Shahar sees it as a way to “bridge the ivory tower and Main Street, the rigor of academe and the fun of the self-help movement.” In other words, to supply books that provide practical self-help advice which can be relied upon.
His book “Happier” is actually “the book of the course” that he teaches at Harvard University (his course grew from the humble beginnings of six students to becoming the most popular course at Harvard). Part of Tal Ben-Shahar’s motivation for creating this course was to help address the epidemic levels of unhappiness that he sees in the USA and elsewhere, for instance “In 1957, 52% in Britain said that they were very happy, compared to 36% in 2005 – despite the fact that the British have tripled their wealth over the last century”. So the book draws heavily from the course but this does not mean that it is a series of long, dry lectures; it features several personal anecdotes and a number of exercises to engage the reader and start to question their own beliefs and values. The format will seem familiar to readers of personal development literature.
In order to understand different approaches to happiness he identifies four different personality archetypes:
The Rat Racer. The kind of person seeks happiness through achieving more and more. They constantly put off happiness in the present through striving to achieve future success, be it financial, emotional and so on. You could say that there motto is always “I will be happy WHEN…” and when they do achieve their goal they postpone happiness again and start working on the next goal.
The Hedonist seeks happiness through endlessly pursuing pleasure and avoiding anything that they think will bring pain or discomfort. They will flit from one relationship or experience to another, constantly driven to accumulate as much pleasure as they can but by avoiding anything that seems like hard work, effort or commitment they deprive themselves of more meaningful life experience. By equating temporary pleasure with real happiness they live out a superficial and shallow existence.
The Nihilist has given up on happiness. Through a process of “learned helplessness” they have come to the conclusion that they simply cannot be happy so they have stopped trying and have resigned themselves to living an unfulfilling life. Often a Nihilist will have tried the Rat Racer and Hedonist lifestyles and found that happiness remains elusive.
The “happy” alternative to these archetypes is the person who is able to balance taking pleasure in the current moment with setting goals and improving things in the future. The type of person who enjoys the journey as well as arriving at the new destination. This person also engages in activities which may involve challenges as they can find pleasure in the doing” and they recognize that commitment can make happiness a more meaningful experience. Ben-Shahar sees happiness as “the ultimate currency” in our lives, far greater than money, fame or a glamorous lifestyle and, interestingly, he cites research which shows that lottery winners soon return to whatever their normal level of happiness was prior to winning the money (often within a month!).
This book is not just an academic discussion on what happiness might or might not be though. There is a great deal of practical advice here and also a recognition that there might be areas of our lives that are problematic and don’t seem like blessings in disguise! For these situations he recommends some Happiness Boosters to add some positivity to circumstances we may not enjoy; these include finding the meaning in unpleasant work, taking on volunteer work to offset a demanding career or “making appointments” for quality family time and honoring these as you would your work commitments. And yet he is keen to point out that, ultimately, there is no great mystery to being happy. Commenting on the Psychiatrist Irvin Yalom’s study of terminally ill patients (and the dramatic changes in their perspectives on life) he says:
“No-one descended from Mount Sinai presenting them with commandments on how to live; no Chinese, Indian or Greek sage revealed to them the secrets of the good life; no one gave them mind- or heart- inducing drugs; they did not discover a new and revolutionary self-help book that changed their lives…. They gained no new knowledge but, rather, an acute awareness of what they knew all along. In other words they had within them the knowledge of how they should live life. It was just that they ignored this knowledge or were not conscious of it.”
“Happier” is a fine book which achieves its aim. It deals with its subject in an insightful yet practical way and whilst its author is clearly an intellectual guy he doesn’t overwhelm you with it or write in such a way that excludes people. Ben-Shahar is particularly skillful in blending academic research with simple truths and I enjoy the way that he covers his material in an accessible and unpretentious manner.
Like
